Maybe a little discontent can be holy?

God has really been working on me lately about being content and grateful in all circumstances. I'm not just talking about the big things, but the everyday little grumblings... Because I think those little things are a big thing to God and have a big effect on the state of our heart and attitude.

I mean even on our vacation in beautiful Cancun I had to try not to grumble when the first 2 days it poured rain ALL day and on the way home we missed our flight and were delayed...I mean how ridiculous to choose to gripe about details that weren't going the way I planned instead of focusing on the million things that were going right?

Like for starters hey we are all still breathing, right?

Also my answered prayer that Breyton did good on the flights and didn't scream( I mean we were even complimented by strangers on his behavior the 1st flight). Or that we all arrived safely and had the opportunity to soak in the amazingly gorgeous view of one of Gods masterpieces! The water could not have been bluer or more beautiful.

I mean really if Mason and I had more than 3 beautiful days of sunshine I can only imagine the sunburn we could have had to endure:)

I want my children to grow up seeing a mom who can see God in any circumstance good or bad...big or small.

Though their will always be something to gripe about I want to choose to grumble less, especially in front of these precious little 'sponges' (aka toddlers) that soak in everything we do...so when we are running late, when its so dang windy(like today!!), when our food order is incorrect, when I can't find the keys yet again, when everyone and everything is on my nerves I can ask God to help me glorify him in that moment.

I happened to read this in my daily devotional the other day as God always sends the perfect one to my email the day I need to read it--seriously true story:)

"We live in a world with more choices and opportunities for distraction than any other. Our environment is success driven and goal oriented as we constantly reach for "more." However, this constant strife often leads to weariness and discontent. So, we often work harder to find a little piece of contentment. However, there is a problem with this battle. This earth is not our home. We cannot-should not-ever be completely content here. I believe the Spirit fills us with a holy discontent. Any happiness here is a shadow of the glory to be revealed in Christ. Therefore, let us not neglect the things of God and store up riches in heaven. One day, maybe with a phone call, the things of this world will be taken from us. But our work for the Lord and our treasures in heaven will endure for eternity. "

I believe what the writer is saying is that God can give us a sense of peace and contentment only found in Him, but as for the things of this world we will never be content and it will never ever ever EVER be 'enough'.

 I like the idea that this is 'holy discontent' and that it will serve as a reminder that this earth is not our home. We endure this race for the end prize that awaits us in heaven.

Because this apartment (nor future bigger home) will never stay organized, the dishes and laundry are never caught up, and all the clothes and possessions will never satisfy.

After all don't we usually hear those with the most money or possessions often are the least happy or satisfied? I can actually believe it. Sometimes I find myself driving by the crazy huge mansions in Edmond and actually feel sorry for those living in it. Not that a 4,000+ sq ft house is in and of itself a sin....but I'm fooling myself if I think our next house or even my dream house would make us content.

Love how this anonymous person said it:)- "I'm just like that, spiritually. My world is so small, my vision so limited, my depravity so complete. I often don't see things from God's perspective, making me proud and boastful of my paltry possessions, unable or uninterested in seeing the potential of what I could have. I'm comparing houses while God has a mansion waiting for me."

I want to spend my time filling myself up with the One who will satisfy and spend less time thinking about our next big purchase or complaining about ordinary daily tasks or annoyances that will never go away until we are truly Home.

~


Here we are soaked with rain the 1st day and focusing on keeping smiles on our faces! And by the way we were blessed with an amazing trip despite a few minor hiccups:)

How we met D

What's it like to get an email, then have 2 days to think about the contents which could alter your entire life, then meet a child the following day, and decide on possibly 'forever'? It's pretty cool actually....also very stressful, exciting, and all around different than 'adoption' ever played out in my head.

It came about through 'a friend of a friend' ....but all God orchestrated I have no doubt. Where a foster family has an adorable little boy who through recent events is appearing to be on track for adoption through DHS and needs to be moved to a foster to adopt home asap. That's where we came in and we needed to make a decision fairly quickly. I panicked thinking could this really be happening....I mean I've talked my whole life about adopting and here is a possible opportunity placed before my family what do I do?! How do I know if this is supposed to be our child?! So of course for 2 days I prayed and prayed and prayed.

What do I hear from God? Nothing. Silence.

So I asked to get to meet this precious little 4 month old boy. We picked him up the next morning to 'babysit' for the day. I discovered it can take just one day to fall in love with a complete stranger.

Wish that was just it...all I needed, but there was so much that complicated the situation in my heart including very unsettling opinions of people closest to me. Therefore I thought maybe this isn't right? If it's going to be so hard and even uncomfortable then maybe this just isn't God's plan. Shouldn't God's plan just 'feel' right and be easy?

The answer is NO. And God clearly laid it all out for me the next morning in a church service. I mean a 'yes' so clear from God I couldn't miss it. I know without a doubt God does not call us to live a 'comfortable' life part of being a disciple is to stand out and doing boldly whatever God may ask. I just needed a reminder of that apparently.

That was it....my heart and my little families heart is forever intertwined with a 5 month old baby that we hardly know, but already love. The future is very unknown because adoption through DHS is far from a clear cut predictable process and it may be awhile before we have answers.....but from day 1 I've looked at D and thought of him as my future son. I have to be all in, because thats what is required...even though my heart might get broke into a thousand pieces....I know he is worth it.

'So today, i'm reminded to be thankful for a God who does not fit neatly inside my narrowly constructed box. I'm glad God does not stay in the walls I create. He is bigger and better and greater, far beyond my wild dreams.'

This may not be how I would have designed my family if you asked a long time ago, but I'm glad I didn't get to decide because look what I'd be missing out on.

Random pics of B:)

 

Random pics from the past few weeks:)


Breyton was so tired the other night when we got home at 10:30 that he got in bed and fell asleep in this position while the light was still on and I was in the other room. This never happens, so I had to take a pic of course.

 

 

Painting letters for an "Art" wall in his room

                                                    

                                                                 He loves to do crafts:)

                            Our very non-fancy 'DIY' art display for all of B's beautiful creations!
                                                        He is very proud of it though:)

 

 

                             He told me he was getting all his cars and trucks ready for a rally lol.

                                                  At the science museum with a buddy:)

            A super tall(and fast) slide the boys went down all by themselves. I shouldn't be suprised.

                          Passed out in the carseat...this is also a very rare occasion now:(

                                         Helping make rice krispy treats! He loves to 'cook'.

 

I have sooo much to say about our foster care situation and so many pictures to share of our *soon to be* first foster placement...BUT I cant really share any of it for now, so this is what happens. It's good to have a post every now and again that has no purpose I suppose! lol

Leaving on a jet plane:)

 

I was not even going to mention it, but figured I better say we are going on vacation next week so nobody is wondering what happened to us:)

Mason and I had said if we sold our house quickly, and by ourselves, then we'd use part of the money we saved by not involving a realtor to go on vacation! Which was a success..praise God!!!

So a few weeks ago we booked a vacation for the end of January...kind of spur the moment knowing it was 'now or never' since our foster care/adoption certification would be complete by February we wanted to be able to be grounded here for quite awhile. Therefore we leave next Tuesday for Cancun! Very excited and blessed to get to have 6 days to spend together and on the beach nonetheless:)

I know Breyton is going to enjoy the ocean so much and can't wait to see how much fun he has! We took him down to the same area when he was 15 months old and he loved every second...but that age was harder to travel with bc you have naptimes, diapers, sippy cups, etc to keep up with. I think 3.5 yrs old is gonna be a great age to take him and will be a priceless memory....as this may be our last trip as a family of 3 ever!

It worked out rather randomly that a dear friend could make the trip with us and volunteered to help be a 'nanny' of sorts:) So we will get the best of both worlds! Breyton gets to be there with us, but Mason and I can have couples time on occasion and enjoy our favorite part of being down there--snorkeling adventures!

This trip has came upon us so quickly..especially since we were blessed to find out about our first foster placement ahead of time and have been lucky to be keeping him on and off to transition. It has kept us much busier! We have already grown attached to sweet baby 'D' , so I already know I'm going to miss him a ton those 6 days!!! Makes me a little sad. However after we get back we will only have 1 more class left before he will officially be with us. Can't wait!!!

Here's a few pics from our first family vacation...my baby has grown up so much since then:(

 

 

 

What adoption is to me.

Big things have been happening. Mostly VERY exciting things for my little family, but reactions others have had are disappointing to me. I also believe they are disappointing to Christ. I've had too much on my heart and mind to even write lately. I couldn't quite figure out how to put everything I'm feeling into words.

I'm writing this to hopefully clarify where we stand and why we will not be moved.

There are those in our lives who are misunderstanding what adoption is and why we want to be a part of it. Apparently some think we are adopting just because we want to. And they may even think this is a bad decision. That somehow we may ruin our lives. There within lies the problem....

We are adopting because God calls us to. Period.

No ones opinion will change that. Very thorough thought, prayer, and research went into every step of this decision. Short term and LONG term. It is happening, so you might as well get on board or at least move out of the way.

As much as I hate that not everyone shares the same joy we have I can not bare the thought of being anywhere but in the center of God's will. My 'need' for acceptance from others pales greatly in comparison to my view on God's opinion of me. Yes, there are a lot of potentially 'scary' outcomes with the adoption process. It will be hard....but there will be joy. There will be hurt...but there will be healing.

What adoption is to me: Being blessed with a child and a gift of life that we do not deserve. Along with the responsibility to love, nurture, guide, and discipline precious little lives with the wisdom God alone gives. There is pain in adoption, especially for the child, because at the root of it there was rejection....that's what can make the ending so much more beautiful.

What adoption is not to me: finding a cute, loving, and perfect child who will be forever grateful for the 'sacrifice' I made for them.

There is no perfect child.

It's definitely not about how they look on the outside and how they will make your family look...it's about who they are and what they need. All children are looking for someone who will meet there most basic needs and needing someone to love them unconditionally. They all deserve that-no matter their skin color, gender, age, or health.

Adoption allows us to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. All involved are equally blessed for the family receiving a precious addition and for the child receiving the gift of a family. I have no doubt that my family will forever be changed by what is in store. Breyton's life will forever be different. To have our eyes opened in ways we can not undo and to experience first hand what God is capable of when we open the book of our lives and allow Him to script every page.

Honestly because of that I have a joy that can not be stifled by negative comments.

Because adoption is redemption, it's healing, it's beautiful, it's love.

Disclaimer: I do want to give credit for all the wonderful people we do have around us! So many have supported us every step of the way. I am so very grateful for each and every one of you. There is no fear where the will of God takes you and many know that is the best place for us to be!

Christmas 2012

 

Another blessed Christmas has came and gone. Breyton is more fun to watch each year and love the pure joy on his face throughout each experience of the season....from the Christmas music, the lights, decorating the tree, putting out the manger scene, singing happy birthday to Jesus, and family get togethers.

 

Thankful for this season, what it truly means, and for the family I have to share it with!

 

 

 

 My parents and their grandkids

                                     My sis-in-law Brittany, my mom, myself, and my aunt Deb

                                                   My mom, my niece Brooklynn, and I

 

My parents and I

                                                             My mom being silly:)

                                                       Brooklynn opening a present!

                                                           My dad and my brother

                                                          Breyton and Brooklynn

                                                     Breyton admiring the Christmas tree

                                                               
                                                                  Sweet Breyton

 

 Mason and Breyton on Christmas Eve

 

 

<3