Friday, December 19, 2014

Back on the roller coaster of foster care: Little miss L


Moments like this when I look back and see this unexpectedly I know it's all worth it.




The thought that someone else's child will be spending Christmas with strangers is still a little weird to me.

Little miss L arrived last Wednesday evening and we have no clue how long she will be with us. It appears we will have an extra guest for Christmas though since no one has called about moving her! They claimed it would be temporary because they are trying to approve a kinship, but no word from anyone yet on how that's going. We did get a call from someone letting us know a little more about why L was removed and what bio parents 'ICP' or progress plan will be like. The case has been moved to a permanency worker because parents chose not to comply with what DHS asked them to do...so basically they didn't seem too urgent about getting their little girl back. Sad with the holidays here:(

Anyways, first night she arrived was a little crazy as we all adjusted. By 'we' I mean myself and the kids because Mason was at work. 'L' needed a bath upon arriving and was hungry, so it was kinda a mad rush trying to accomplish all that when it was my other three kiddos bedtime. It got done though! It was a little weird at first having a stranger in your home and trying to get it all figured out with no information. As I was getting her a snack I hoped she wasn't allergic to strawberries, diary, or peanut butter! Thankfully it appears she is not:) Then she had trouble falling asleep(understandably) that night so we were up past 10 and awake at 6:50, but I have no idea what her life or schedule looked like before. 
I've just been trying to incorporate her and adjust her to my kids schedule. She has adjusted well and sleeping much better already...which is good since I'm still getting up with Lyla at night.

Turns out life with four kids isn't really that much more difficult than life with three kids;) Though four car seats in one car is a lot!  Thank goodness Breyton buckles himself, but getting three kids in and out of car seats takes a ridiculous amount of time just to go anywhere...especially when you can't get to the third row except by climbing through the front seat and in between captains chairs to back row lol. I'm sure people get a good laugh watching us! Minor inconvenience over all, so I won't complain much;)

It's been 7 days that she's been with us and she has insisted on calling us mommy and daddy from day 1. She really seems happy and content now. It's actually a little sad how happy she is with strangers. I'm truly so proud of my kiddos and how they have welcomed in this little girl and made her feel comfortable while sharing all their belongings. It's undoubtedly been an adjustment for all of us, but these 'inconveniences' are pretty minor in comparison to what God has done for me. So just trying to give extra doses of grace around here..especially for myself;)

I'm not gonna claim I'm some saint and that I enjoy every moment of 'self sacrifice'. Truth is by nature I'm selfish and have moments where I think "why am I getting up early with someone else's child while they sleep in? Why am I here reassuring a little girls fears because someone else messed up? Why am I changing yet another poopy diaper?". It's in those moments I have to choose to change my focus. After all this isn't about me...it's not even really about those parents..it's just about a little girl that needs love and care. 

 On the other hand I do wish I could give this sweet girl the world and keep her forever just to know she was safe, but if we are gonna be foster parents long term I'm gonna have to learn to let them go when the time comes and trust God's plan. I pray through the road that's ahead of us we can show our children by example what it means to live out the gospel....even when it hurts even when it costs us something.

This journey of parenthood especially being a foster parent has brought me to my knees more than I could have ever imagined. I'm learning that we don't really truly grow in our trust and faith of God when life is comfortable...because we seem 'fine' on our own. It's when we are put in the uncomfortable places of life and the hard places that we truly experience just how much we need God.  When life is just going along I can read my bible for a few minutes before falling asleep and think that's good, but when I'm faced with something I can't do on my own then I truly seek God with all my heart, soul, mind and I find Him. 

Everytime.

He meets me wherever I'm at. So if being in the uncomfortable places is where I find God the most then I don't ever want to get comfortable in this life!

"Someday, we'll get to enjoy heaven and all its perfection. But for now, the work God calls us to do here on earth is often uncomfortable, physically tiring and emotionally draining. Some days it's downright dirty and difficult.

While my flesh would prefer a cushy assignment, I don't want to shake the nail-scarred hands of Jesus—-the hands that touched lepers, the hands that stroked the head of a broken sinful woman—-with hands that have never gotten dirty with life."

So currently if having some more laundry to fold, dirty dishes to wash, extra tantrums to calm and twice the diapers to change is the way that God calls me to serves others right now then I hope I can be joyful and faithful even in the mundane.




My current life verses:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. (Matthew 16:24-25 NLT)

If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. (2 Corinthians 5:13-14 NLT)

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. (Galatians 1:10 NLT)
 
If anything this season is a good reminder for what we live for and why we have the hope that we do. Merry Christmas everyone! 








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