One CRAZY week.

So we turned down an offer on our house Friday and we spent this weekend moving back home.

 We are officially crazy. Lol 

This week has definitely been the craziest ones of my life and that's saying something for me;) 

It was at the moment that we were given an offer on our house that the clarity we have been needing came. We knew there would be closing fees etc, but I don't think we had set down and actually calculated how much they would really be. So let me put it in perspective- to pay the buyers Realtors commission(which the seller is expected to do) and pay closing fees the total would be just about $13,000. That's on the current house. Then when we buy land to build or another house we would pay closing costs again bringing our total closer to $17-18k just to move. These totals are just about unavoidable, so even with a wise investment its difficult to truly come out ahead selling a house! We paid a lot in cash down when we bought this house and have a 15 year note which pays off a lot more of your principle and is less of a rip off in the long run;) All that being said we can have this house paid off in 12 years and not waste all that money in fees selling to downsize a little. Mason also got a raise in January that we weren't quite expecting...so now we can live in our home and give away quite a bit more like we were wanting to do when deciding to sell the house. Also, if the point was to be more generous then we can be more generous with the thousands of dollars we would have wasted on so many fees to sell our home. 

Mason had came to this realization about a month ago, but I was being stubborn. I just couldn't believe I felt God had led me to move out just to move back!!!

Then the big deal breaker was my sudden terrible outbreak of hives last week. I've never had hives before in my life nor has anyone in my family, therefore, I didn't even realize that's what they were at first! After dealing with hives that feel like fire ants and itch like crazy for several days along with what felt like an anxiety attack one day I had my emotional breakdown. I had been praying and praying for God to get Mason and I on the same page about the house. After all this was a big decision and I wanted to feel in agreement about what we thought God was leading us to do...though ultimately I would let Mason make the decision either way. I just flat out told God that he needed to make something happen to change one of our hearts. Little did I know that me getting hives like crazy for a week would be one way he would do that..I might have prayed differently haha!! 

The hives themselves caused me to pray like crazy for answers...and finding out they were stress hives that wouldn't go away till I eliminated stress (which was causing my immune system to attack me basically) was a big motivator to surrender. The Dr was telling a women who is married to someone in law enforcement, has three kids, a large dog, living in 800 sq ft, on top of a pile of other life situations that just come up to eliminate all stress. That's just my normal though!;)

Despite all that I knew it was the house situation with my husband that was driving me to have such anxiety though. I needed clarity and rest from it. In my desperation to find relief from hives God led a dear friend who I hadn't seen in awhile to my house and she (along with two others the next day) told me I needed to step down and realize I don't have to have the answers or all the 'whys' figured out. Even though it had crossed my mind it took two people bringing up the story of Abraham and Isaac to remind that sometimes God 'tests' us...just maybe to prepare us for something down the road. I know I was asked to give up my house which I held dearly and in the end I was willing to let that go. It didn't really matter to me all that much after all in comparison to obedience to Christ. And for reasons not all yet revealed we felt led back here. I know we made some friendships in the apartment complex that will continue on and my kiddos made friends with a group of kids that will likely be able to attend church with us in the future and other events like VBS. Those opportunities alone can make it all worth it.

Since turning down the offer we recieved on Friday and surrending my plans to God~even if they didnt look like I thought~ my hives have pretty much disappeared!  Praise God! 

My whole family came up today to visit and we are planning to have some friends over soon and we can start fostering again without as much of a delay. All things not really even possible in the tiny apartment. Today is the 3 year anniversary of Sean being placed in our home as well- always makes Valentine's day worth celebrating!! I forgot so many of the ways this home was such a blessing(also taking many of them for granted) and plan to use it to God's glory as much as possible from here on out!

So....

Here we are three moves later back in the same spot haha, but not the same people! We've learned a lot and let go of so much materially that held us back. Looking forward to what's in store!! Just hoping it doesn't include any more packing and unpacking for awhile:)

Such a fitting song that comes on every time I'm in the car:

"Trust In You"

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less