Wednesday, December 31, 2014

An exciting start to a new year!!!

Exciting things happening right at the beginning of this new year! I will back track to almost 2 years ago we did a random (thouroughly researched lol)  thing and signed up for this vacation deal where you go to Branson and have free hotel stay as long as you listen to the time share meeting they want you to attend one afternoon...out of the deal you get an~almost free~cruise! We went to the Branson thing last April and made it into a family trip with my family. After the Branson trip you have one year to use your cruise certificate or it expires. We planned to wait the full year and use it in March 2015 because I was wanting to wait as long as possible to leave Lyla;) 

We called to finally book it this week and learned if you go in January you get a free upgrade to a nicer room and airfare prices(which we do have to pay for technically) are significantly cheaper in January because it's not as popular of a month to travel with holidays just being over! I said technically about paying for the airfare because we have a rewards credit card we charge everything to and then pay it off, so we earn travel points. We had already earned enough for completely free round trip tickets for both of us:)) So by booking the last week of January we would save hundreds of dollars..so seemed the most logical. We looked at weather and the difference between end of January and first of March down there is insignificant to justify waiting as well!

Anyways, we booked our cruise and it's final... we can't change it. Now I'm freaking out about leaving Lyla lol. Way back when we signed up for this I thought well Lyla will be a year and a half old, so it will be fine...however, now that it came up so quickly I'm not as emotionally prepared as I thought I would be! I apparently have 3.5 weeks to prepare myself...and wean a very stubborn baby:/

We have typically taken Breyton with us on most past vacations, but this is our first time to travel since we've added two kiddos in 2013...and it's not feasible(nor would I want to lol) travel to Miami and take a cruise with three young children, so they will be having their own fun vacation hanging out with their Meems and Grammy. Mason keeps saying, "Stop- it's not a big deal! You do so much for the kiddos and deserve to get away for a bit to relax!" So that's what I'm going to try to do:))

Yes, there is definitely a part of me super excited about spending, so much time alone with my husband and of course warm weather and the ocean!!! We are flying to Miami to leave for the cruise and Masons' brother/sister in law live nearby there, so we will be spending extra time visiting with them as well! 

So that's coming up......and this past Wednesday we did get word that Miss L, our foster daughter, will be leaving us next week to move onto a kinship placement. Bittersweet! Having a two- 2 years olds and a 1 year old is exhausting on a long term basis, so I think it's for the best. I know after 3 weeks it will be a little sad to say goodbye knowing in this situation we will probably never see her again. She's been having some night terrors and a little more tears about her other mommy/daddy, so I'm just praying so hard that she can find the comfort/love she needs as she moves on from us. 

And on one other side note....

On this day, Jan 2nd, two years ago we received a message out of the blue telling us about this sweet little 4 month old baby boy who needed a home. It was a crazy whirlwind to say 'yes' and I'm so thankful for how God wove Sean into our lives!
Today on my time hop app was the precious first pictures we saw of his little face. 


My how he has grown!

Crazy how time flies and how quickly life changes! Looking forward to another new year and what God will do!



Friday, December 19, 2014

Back on the roller coaster of foster care: Little miss L


Moments like this when I look back and see this unexpectedly I know it's all worth it.




The thought that someone else's child will be spending Christmas with strangers is still a little weird to me.

Little miss L arrived last Wednesday evening and we have no clue how long she will be with us. It appears we will have an extra guest for Christmas though since no one has called about moving her! They claimed it would be temporary because they are trying to approve a kinship, but no word from anyone yet on how that's going. We did get a call from someone letting us know a little more about why L was removed and what bio parents 'ICP' or progress plan will be like. The case has been moved to a permanency worker because parents chose not to comply with what DHS asked them to do...so basically they didn't seem too urgent about getting their little girl back. Sad with the holidays here:(

Anyways, first night she arrived was a little crazy as we all adjusted. By 'we' I mean myself and the kids because Mason was at work. 'L' needed a bath upon arriving and was hungry, so it was kinda a mad rush trying to accomplish all that when it was my other three kiddos bedtime. It got done though! It was a little weird at first having a stranger in your home and trying to get it all figured out with no information. As I was getting her a snack I hoped she wasn't allergic to strawberries, diary, or peanut butter! Thankfully it appears she is not:) Then she had trouble falling asleep(understandably) that night so we were up past 10 and awake at 6:50, but I have no idea what her life or schedule looked like before. 
I've just been trying to incorporate her and adjust her to my kids schedule. She has adjusted well and sleeping much better already...which is good since I'm still getting up with Lyla at night.

Turns out life with four kids isn't really that much more difficult than life with three kids;) Though four car seats in one car is a lot!  Thank goodness Breyton buckles himself, but getting three kids in and out of car seats takes a ridiculous amount of time just to go anywhere...especially when you can't get to the third row except by climbing through the front seat and in between captains chairs to back row lol. I'm sure people get a good laugh watching us! Minor inconvenience over all, so I won't complain much;)

It's been 7 days that she's been with us and she has insisted on calling us mommy and daddy from day 1. She really seems happy and content now. It's actually a little sad how happy she is with strangers. I'm truly so proud of my kiddos and how they have welcomed in this little girl and made her feel comfortable while sharing all their belongings. It's undoubtedly been an adjustment for all of us, but these 'inconveniences' are pretty minor in comparison to what God has done for me. So just trying to give extra doses of grace around here..especially for myself;)

I'm not gonna claim I'm some saint and that I enjoy every moment of 'self sacrifice'. Truth is by nature I'm selfish and have moments where I think "why am I getting up early with someone else's child while they sleep in? Why am I here reassuring a little girls fears because someone else messed up? Why am I changing yet another poopy diaper?". It's in those moments I have to choose to change my focus. After all this isn't about me...it's not even really about those parents..it's just about a little girl that needs love and care. 

 On the other hand I do wish I could give this sweet girl the world and keep her forever just to know she was safe, but if we are gonna be foster parents long term I'm gonna have to learn to let them go when the time comes and trust God's plan. I pray through the road that's ahead of us we can show our children by example what it means to live out the gospel....even when it hurts even when it costs us something.

This journey of parenthood especially being a foster parent has brought me to my knees more than I could have ever imagined. I'm learning that we don't really truly grow in our trust and faith of God when life is comfortable...because we seem 'fine' on our own. It's when we are put in the uncomfortable places of life and the hard places that we truly experience just how much we need God.  When life is just going along I can read my bible for a few minutes before falling asleep and think that's good, but when I'm faced with something I can't do on my own then I truly seek God with all my heart, soul, mind and I find Him. 

Everytime.

He meets me wherever I'm at. So if being in the uncomfortable places is where I find God the most then I don't ever want to get comfortable in this life!

"Someday, we'll get to enjoy heaven and all its perfection. But for now, the work God calls us to do here on earth is often uncomfortable, physically tiring and emotionally draining. Some days it's downright dirty and difficult.

While my flesh would prefer a cushy assignment, I don't want to shake the nail-scarred hands of Jesus—-the hands that touched lepers, the hands that stroked the head of a broken sinful woman—-with hands that have never gotten dirty with life."

So currently if having some more laundry to fold, dirty dishes to wash, extra tantrums to calm and twice the diapers to change is the way that God calls me to serves others right now then I hope I can be joyful and faithful even in the mundane.




My current life verses:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. (Matthew 16:24-25 NLT)

If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. (2 Corinthians 5:13-14 NLT)

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. (Galatians 1:10 NLT)
 
If anything this season is a good reminder for what we live for and why we have the hope that we do. Merry Christmas everyone! 








Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Monthly progression pics and ramblings:)



I think I forgot to even post the last couple months 'progress' photo on the blog, so I'm just adding them now all together. I can't believe my baby went from such a tiny cuddly thing to running around with her brothers so quickly. 

I get so much indescribable joy watching them play together. Some of their interactions/convos are just too cute. Lyla's newest word is 'bubba' so now she's says three words: dada, momma, and bubba:) I may not be blessed with kiddos who like to sleep at all lol, but they get along so well and just play(and make messes) like crazy together. I'm truly thankful for that and hope they can continue to be best friends for many years! 

Lyla is quickly becoming a toddler and I can feel the baby days are almost gone for good. I'm cleaning out baby stuff and I'm not too sad about it-for now. After having two babies back to back I can happily let go of this 'season' for a bit:) We will have more children I know, but  just not biologically(unless God throws a big surprise in for us haha). 
Therefore, my baby days may be done depending on age of future foster/adoptive kiddos. We have recently changed our paperwork to start back with an older age range--for awhile at least! I will never say never on anything because God likes to mess with plans I make on my own of course!;)

It's crazy for me to think about Sean being the same age as Lyla is now when we brought home Lyla last year. It feels like he was older, but looking back he was just a baby himself! 

Anywho...that was just some random rambling haha. Here is the first year of watching my baby grow! If you can tell the last few months seem close to the same because she really didn't have a huge growth spurt in height or weight. She's still my tiny thing at 17lbs.