Recently we said goodbye to our 9th and 10th placement(since January!) through foster care. A couple weeks ago in one day I received calls on five different placements! It's crazy sad really.
We are all becoming somewhat accustomed(if that's even possible?!) to the come and go of 'friends' as my children call it. Breyton asks on a regular basis if someone is coming to stay today and first thing he wants to know is how long can they stay. The last placement we had of two brothers was the hardest for my kiddos to say good bye to. We knew they were just here very short term, but they just 'clicked' with my boys immediately.
We always try to send something with the kiddos when they leave. I think it helps everyone feel better! Usually a note with our phone number incase they need it and recently I have started sending a children's devotional or bible with a message inside. One of our older foster daughters does call me to check in on occasion. It's always wonderful to hear from her, but sometimes it's a little hard because I don't feel she is in the best situation. However, I'm thankful she feels comfortable to call us and feel blessed to have that connection.
There is plenty of good lessons that foster care brings our family. There are plenty of hard ones as well! I find the 'sanctification' of it can really pull out the ugly attitude of my heart sometimes!! That's when I see how far I have to go:/
When a kiddo shows up and things go smoothly(as much as one could expect) and they just click with our family then I have an easier time keeping a joyful attitude. Then there are the times when you accept a desperate late call and your up till midnight waiting on two kiddos and when they arrive they don't seem the least bit tired, sigh. So your up till closer to 2am getting someone else's child asleep and then waking at 6:30 am when everyone else is ready go. Then there are the times your cleaning up someone else's child's vomit that covers their bed in the middle of the night. I find it's mostly when I'm physically tired that the devil tries to whisper lies into my ear....Like I'm missing out on some thing else because I'm obeying Gods will. That maybe this is all just too hard or not the right time yet.
Honestly sometimes I really, really just want to say 'no' and go on about my life. My three kids(my normal) seems 'easy' in comparison to taking on more again. I want to just stay comfortable. Sometimes I simply just don't want more laundry and dishes to do!! And since I'm being honest usually during each placement there are moments Mason and I look at each other and say, "Ok...this might be the last time we can do this."
Then when those kids leave we pray asking for Gods will. Sometimes I'm actually hoping He will give me permission to say no(I know that sounds terrible!)....but I never get it. Instead I'm reminded of James 4:17-"Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it."
This is when I realize I have to get back in God's word to remind myself of the TRUTH. I don't see anywhere in the bible where God asks us to just do something when it's easy or comfortable. It actually says the opposite.
So satan tells me to quit because all of this is just a little too hard. But God tells me to run the race with endurance, my reward is in heaven, that this is all worth it.
"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28 NLT)
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 emphasis by me;)
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18 NIV)
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT)
And incase I have those doubts creep in where I think I'm missing out there is this verse on my fridge:
"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (Matthew 16:26 NLT)
I share all this to show that we don't have to be perfect to be used by God. I don't need to have all the details figured out or even the perfect attitude all the time. It's a daily striving to 'press on toward the goal' of becoming more Christ like. God uses our obedience to a hard calling to refine and sift out the 'ugly' selfish places in my heart. He can use it to do the same for your family.
This song has been on repeat a lot lately for me and sums it all up:
"The joy I find in facing every trial
Give me hope, and makes it all worthwhile
I’m looking towards all the plans You have in store
‘Cause the victory is Yours, it is Yours
So I’m not gonna complain
My lips will speak Your name
My voice will give You praise, give You praise
I’m not gonna give up
My strength comes from above
Your grace is more than enough, than enough." -You are Joy by Warr Acres
Give me hope, and makes it all worthwhile
I’m looking towards all the plans You have in store
‘Cause the victory is Yours, it is Yours
So I’m not gonna complain
My lips will speak Your name
My voice will give You praise, give You praise
I’m not gonna give up
My strength comes from above
Your grace is more than enough, than enough." -You are Joy by Warr Acres
So....here we are waiting on another phone call:)
