One year ago.

So this time last year we just met a precious baby boy. We had limited time to make a big decision and without having any idea what the future would hold we said, "Yes."

All because God said, "Yes."

(This is the first picture I ever saw of sweet little D.)

(My how he has grown!)

(And grown!!)

Valentine's day 2013 is our 'gotcha day' as foster parents call it:) We met D several weeks before that because we had a rare opportunity to babysit or transition D into our home from his previous foster home(while our certification was completed). Valentine's day was just legally the day he was placed into our home!

Therefore the 'holiday' has a whole other special meaning for our family! 

I've been so behind on updating with baby D's case, but having a newborn will do that to you.

Then I read something that describes so much of how I felt during the hard beginning of obedience in this area of our lives and I knew I needed to write.

You see at first we had so many telling us that this wasn't the best plan for our lives or that there was too much risk... But here it is...this is what God asked of us..

"Do Hard Things — most often means doing small, obscure, everyday things.  (Like caring for a child who needs you.)

Just Do Whatever He Tells You."

Then when I told God I couldn't see how this would all end! If it was His will why wasn't it easy!? That there was too much unknown! He told me I didn't need to know all the details...just one foot in front of the other..day by day He would lead.

Here is a quote from Ann Voskamp that describes it perfectly:

"Why would God give you a map — when He wants to give you Himself?

We need the person of God more than we need the plan for our life.

His voice is what you keep listening for….  and the heart of faith is your ear pressed into the heartbeat of His Word.

“This is the way for you — not her way, not their way — but My Way for You.” Stay close enough to the Word to hear your Father’s voice. Do Whatever He Tells You. 

Do whatever’s the next thing. Do whatever He puts in front of you and do it with great love and this is what makes any day, any life, anybody great. Miracles keep happening in the mundane."

Need less to say that since the decision to say "Yes!"  we've been on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs!

Funny how when you come up with your own ideas or plan that God makes sure to remind you that He's in control! When signing on for foster to adopt I had these 'mental plans'. I preferably wanted a child of my own race because that seemed easiest, I also really wanted a girl since we had a son, and I wanted a quick case to a closed adoption. As in I was definitely not going to get involved with my future child's bio family! 

I know go ahead laugh!

Well as you can imagine we were presented with an African American baby boy.

I was also immediately asked to transport him to visits and ended up spending time with his bio mom and some family members every 2 weeks.

Then God asked me to consider an open adoption. So what do we do!?...You just do whatever HE tells you. 

I can now tell you that little baby boy is exactly what our family was missing! I can't imagine if it had played out the way I thought was best. Then the week before he could officially be placed with us I found out I was pregnant. Wouldn't you know though that God blessed our obedience and not only did I get a sweet little boy, but we also were given that little girl I so desired.

Well here we exactly one year later and the roller coaster ride is coming to an end. 

Well really to a new beginning.

 With all that has been happening this week I have not had the opportunity to share some big news!

So here it is! Baby D is officially, legally, available for adoption. His bio mom 'relinquished' her rights at the court hearing this past Monday.

What does that mean exactly for us? Well there is still one hurdle to get past and that is to get a sibling separation approved by the state. It has to be approved for D and his four siblings to be adopted by seperate foster families. It has been submitted, so we have to have a meeting and then wait for it to be approved. However, we are one BIG step closer to keeping D safely part of our family.

Through all of this God has asked more of my patience and trust than ever before and I'm grateful I've had this opportunity despite the pain and fears...because we are undoubtedly changed and for the better.

I shared recently that this has been my life verse lately...

That's exactly what this process has required! Joyful in hope, patience in affliction, and faithful in prayer!!!

I was so upset last spring, summer, and fall when we started meeting delay after delay and couldn't see where this was all going, but that's because I didn't need to at the time. Now I know without all those delays and time that passed we wouldn't have been forced to get to know D's bio mom. 

So yes with this big news for us comes great heartache for others. 

Our gain is undoubtedly someone else's loss.

It's a constant reminder of how broken this world is and of how in need of Jesus some people really are. 

Now I undoubtedly know that's where God is leading us next. If she is willing then we will continue to have contact and hopefully a relationship with his bio mom. There is undeniably a very broken women who I can't just pretend is not there and God has weaved our lives together..whether I was willing or not..and I can only pray that God will use us to show His light in her darkness. Once again I don't even know what this will look like, but I'm thankful God used someone else's words at the right time to remind me that I do not need to know. I just need to do whatever He tells me. 

I'm hanging this in my house to remind my stubborn heart daily!