Let me start off by saying God is so good!
Just crazy inexplicably good.
A few weeks ago we started the process(aka lots of paperwork, patience, and prayer) to adopt.
I didn't think I'd be saying the words 'we're adopting..now' for at least another 4-6 years. Yet here we are so indescribably EXCITED for what God has in store. It's so amazing to look back at the past year and realize how God has woven together such an amazing plan...every moment that hurt so much was part of a bigger plan I couldn't fathom. I can so clearly see now how the 'valley's' we've been through have prepared our hearts for the path He is charting ahead.
This past year I believe was a 'test' from satan so to speak to see if I'd let the doubts, hurt, and fears to win or if I'd let each moment to draw me closer to my Savior than ever before. That's where I stand now with a faith and peace that I couldn't have developed else wise. I know God is working everything together for the good of those who love him.
I. know. It.
I can't possibly explain everything that has gone in our lives for this complete change of heart. We are not adopting now because of infertility because that's not the case...we are adopting because there is a need and God has given us the abilities to be a part of his work by loving on children who need unconditional love. Just like the love He himself bestows on us.
To do the work Christ has called us to do regardless of how crazy it may seem to some. We are tired of waiting to do what Gods asks us to do.... I've realized that is a lie and trap straight from the enemy to keep God's children off course. God doesn't need 'perfect conditions' he just needs willing hearts. Yes we are only 24 and there will be people who don't understand or may make judgements based on the world's standard. I don't care though. I just want to be exactly where Jesus tells me to be.
I want to be all in.
I'm far from it still, but with every step of obedience I want to be that much closer.
Really there's sooo much I have to say about adoption and what got us to this point, but maybe I'll have a chance to spill more of my heart in future blog posts. For now I wanted to announce (so to speak) our wonderful news.... because I feel like months(hopefully not years) down the road when we have a new addition to our family everyone won't be wondering when in the world that happened. Adoption and pregnancy really do share a lot of similarities. The moment you really decide your adopting and start the process is kind of like the positive pregnancy test. You are overwhelmed with emotions including joy, fear, and excitement! Then you can't help but think of the child who will be yours...I'm already wondering who he/she will be, what they will look, etc. Just like in conception God already has our child/children picked out and He knows every detail.
Then comes the patience and waiting to meet and hold your child.
So that's where we are just waiting and praying not knowing what the future holds, but knowing WHO holds the future.
We are not naive to the possibly difficult road ahead, but currently too busy rejoicing in our new path God is directing!
~P.S.~
I've been reading a blog (louxfamilyblog.com), where they talk about their 10 adoptions...the good and the bad. I highly recommend visiting their blog if you need any conviction to live out James 1:27. Here's an excerpt from a post while they where in the midst of adopting a special needs child:
"I was thinking, “Man, adopting this little boy has been so much work. This is exhausting, expensive, uncomfortable … and it doesn’t feel very rewarding right now.” What am I doing in some little Soviet car in the dark, in the middle of rural Ukraine in frozen December, as the driver dodges cats and potholes? What if Dimitri doesn’t improve at all? What if we get “nothing” out of this? … Ahhh, there it was; that dark, fallen, unreedemed, selfish human love, rooted in the tree of the knowledge of “good and evil”. The love the Greeks called “erao” love. The love where we treat someone as precious and treasured for what we can get out of it. This is unlike “agapeo” love, the God kind of love that treats someone as treasured and precious for their good, not for my good. It’s when I love a person in order to meet their needs, having no expectation of them meeting any of my needs. At a whole new level, God is working His kind of love into my weak heart, and He’s using little Dimitri to do it.
My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like Dimitri will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him … but … he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This is how our heavenly “Papa” feels towards us."
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